Let's take a trip down memory lane...
The year was 1998, and it was the summer before my senior year of high school. I was learning about Wicca and had a few books about that and about spells & witchcraft in general, one of which was the Necronomicon. I remember wanting to do a love spell because I was a naive and lonely teenager, so I chose a sigil out of the Necronomicon (I don't remember which one). I had another book of spells which included love spells, but I remember that I liked the sigil idea better because I didn’t need a bunch of herbs or other stuff to cast it.
I had an altar set up; it wasn’t a very “good” altar but it’s what I had access to while 16-17 and living with my parents :-) A lot of the stuff I had on that altar was kind of random and haphazard. There was a lot of Asian stuff like prayer flags, a chakra wand (which I think was plastic), some feng shui stuff and other Asian symbols and motifs. I was really into Asian (especially Japanese) stuff at the time. I still love and appreciate Asian art but I don’t use it in my everyday life anymore.
The actual casting of the spell was pretty simple. I drew out the sigil, said a chant that I had cobbled together, and burned the paper in a candle flame. Probably shouldn’t have done that indoors...
Now that I’m writing this, it brings me back to December of that same year, when I started dating “Ryan.” Lest I make this post length rival that of War & Peace, I’ll just say that “Ryan” was an abusive asshole. Our relationship started off with him telling me he loved me on our second date, and after 2.5 years of emotional abuse and being on again/off again, he physically abused me. Luckily that was the end of it.
It really makes me wonder if I invited that by doing that spell. Not that the abuse was my fault, and I’m not generally a superstitious person, but the timing of those events really makes me wonder. Because I sure did get “love” but it was toxic and harmful.
But even though that relationship did damage me, I came out of it wiser and better and he...well, he didn’t. He has had a string of domestic assault incidents and legal problems. Last I heard he was homeless on the streets of Seattle.
This all just goes to show that we all start somewhere. I’m sure a lot of experienced witches look back on their early spells and cringe. But that’s OK, because that’s part of the learning process. You’re most likely not going to do it perfectly the first time.
If you’re reading this and nervous about doing your first spell, just know that you’ll do fine. Also read my Tips For Your First Spell to get some ideas, tips and tricks to help you along.
Thanks for reading, and Blessed Be!
<3 Aranea
